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Apr. 30th, 2007

(no subject)

day one of the robert ghiz campaign!

Oct. 24th, 2006

ann coulter's my new bff

i hardly ever dream -- i guess i shouldn't say that, because everyone dreams, but i never remember my dreams -- but when i do, my dreams are about crazy, fucked-up shit.

i think it's the midterm elections in the states. they're really starting to get to me at work. but last night, i dreamt i was the canadian equivalent of ann coulter, and we were on oprah. with stephen harper. all i remember was oprah interviewing steve, and asking him how canada's youth were. he said something like: "oh they're great monday - friday, but come friday night, all hell breaks loose. canadian kids party too hard." and it was this crazy epidemic, it was his headline campaign issue, and ann coulter and i were all about it. then we went to some place to shoot some scenes, and they had a guess who cover band... or maybe it was the guess who? anyway, ann and i thought that was the shit... and we danced all night, and she kept wanting to "smoke some good canadian weed" out back.

honestly. someone must have slipped me something in my coffee at work last night. either that, or the republicans are successfully brainwashing me.

please don't let me turn into a conservative, guys.

Oct. 9th, 2006

emo-alertttt

today i realized that it's not sunday -- it's monday, and i missed work.  i just didn't go in, because i thought it was sunday.  i didn't even stop to check.  and last week, i almost missed TWO classes, because i just FORGOT about them.  honestly, i think i am losing my mind.  i've never forgotten anything before, and there is so much stuff on my mind, i have absolutely no room left to retain anything.  so instead, i just forget it all like an immature child who needs to be reminded about everything.  i don't think anything could be scarier.     

if there is anything i hate about amazing weekends like this one, it's the fact that it only makes it a thousand times harder to go back to life on monday... or in this case, tuesday.  

sometimes i really don't know what i'm doing, or why i'm doing it... or where it's going to get me in the end.  sometimes i think i was pressured into it indirectly, and sometimes i think it's because i had nothing 'better' to do.  but sometimes i think that this isn't it for me... at all.  i don't think i'm supposed to be here at all, and i feel like there is a much better place for me.  but i have no idea where in the hell that place is -- so instead, i get through another week, and another month... and another year.  and i'm scared to death because at the end of the year, i'll have nothing.  i'll have a fourty-thousand dollar diploma, a serious debtload, no skills or qualifications, and what's worst of all -- no plan. 

i'm not talking about here, here.  i'm happy here, and i'm happy with who i am now, and i love the girls and my apartment... but i just don't see anything ahead, and it's fucking scary.  sometimes i want to get away, but i'm scared to let go of what i've had forever, and i have no idea what i would do, or where i would go... or with whom.  i hate it all.  honestly, i wish i was twelve again.  i would have never thought at twelve that i'd probably be the happiest i've ever been.  

sometimes i just wanna say "fuck it" and disappoint everyone because i know they're only going through the motions of caring.  i know they don't know why i'm doing it, or where it will get me.  i sometimes don't even know why i'm here myself.  i want to be that sloth we saw on 20/20 on friday.  i hate all this running around, and forgetting everything, and having to make up excuses for being a plain idiot and missing work, and i wish i lived in a place where time was irrelevant, and there were no schedules... and your life was just a day-to-day thing.  i fucking hate all the constraints.  i wish i could live at the beach and never worry about being disturbed.  as long as i had someone to talk to, i would be happier than ever. 

i feel like i have no idea how people see me, or how i want to be seen... and i don't know yet if i like the person i am, or if people like me for the genuine person i am.  i sometimes question virtually every friendship in my life and wonder what the motivations for each are -- on both parts.  i realize i'm making zero sense, but i'm just totally frustrated.  i feel like any friend i have is a friend of a friend, and that if i walked away tomorrow, i'd lose them all... but at the same time, i feel like they're the only ones who care.  i wonder if i'll ever stop feeling like i'm an outsider and actually feel like i'm a real friend.  i feel like any real friendship i've made on my own (with the exception of katherine, of course) is completely baseless and fake and rotten... i feel like because i'm not that kind of person, i'll never quite be up to the platform i've elevated you to, i'll never really be "up to standards."  so many people that i've loved and known since childhood have changed entirely, and i feel like i'm still the same, and because i haven't changed, too -- i'm just out of luck, and honestly nothing makes me more sad. 

i love the kind of day where you wake up with absolutely no plan in mind, and go to bed thinking it was the best day of your life.  i want that kind of day more than once a year -- or less.  i want that kind of day all the time.  it's really not fair.  i feel like there are absolutely no surprises left in life.       


this is why i should have barricaded myself in the library all weekend.  i've done no homework and i have a million deadlines to meet, and i've lost all desire to even try.  i would honestly love for someone to just quit life and come on a roadtrip that never ends with me.  

the scary thing is, i'm dead serious. 

Oct. 1st, 2006

(no subject)

- frosty treat closes for the season tonight at 10.  i'm heartbroken.  how many things did i not do this summer?  frosty treat, pet the llamas, campfire at the beach... :( it's been a pretty sad summer.  all i wanted was a raspberry frozen yogurt in a waffle cone.  i'm so sad!

- wootwoot for gas going down... the economy rules!

- last night i went to see the final "anne of green gables" -- it was amazing.  aside from the weirdos on the corner with the "hugs are free" signs... i had to avoid that shit.

- tara and i are pool champions and we're going to start a pool league in law school.  can you believe i actually WON a game? 

- six days until turkeyfest, bitches. 

pace.

Aug. 11th, 2006

lil joke for ya'll...

Q: Why is a guy so smart during sex? 





























........A: Because he's plugged into a genious.

Aug. 1st, 2006

<3

When they call your name
Will you walk right up?
With a smile on your face?
Or will you cower in fear
In your favorite sweater
With an old love letter?

I wish you would
I wish you would

Come pick me up
Take me out
Fuck me up
Steal my records
Screw all my friends
They're all full of shit
With a smile on your face
And then do it again

I wish you would

When you're walking downtown
Do you wish I was there?
Do you wish it was me?
With the windows clear and the mannequins eyes
Do they all look like mine?

You know you could
I wish you would

Come pick me up
Take me out
Fuck me up
Steal my records
Screw all my friends behind my back
With a smile on your face
And then do it again

I wish you would

I wish you'd make up my bed
So I could make up my mind
Try it for sleeping instead
Maybe you'll rest sometime

I wish I could

Jul. 21st, 2006

my new favourite song of all time... thanks kelly higgins <3

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Hard to Concentrate

Hustle Bustle
And so much muscle
Ourselves about to separate
And I find it hard to concentrate
And temporary, this cash and carry
I’m stepping up to indicate
The time has come to deviate and

All I want is for you to be happy
And take this moment to make you my family
And finally you have found something perfect
And finally you have found…

Death defying, this mess I’m buying
It’s raining down with love and hate
And I find it hard to motivate
And estuary is blessed but scary
Your heart’s about to palpitate
And I’m not about to hesitate

And want to treasure the rest of your days here
And give you pleasure in so many ways, dear
And finally you have found something perfect
And finally you have found…

Do you want me to show up for duty?
And serve this woman and honor her beauty?
And finally you have found something perfect
And finally you have found yourself
With me
Will you agree to take this man into your world?
And now we are as one

My lone ranger,
The heat exchanger
Is living in this figure 8
And I’ll do my best to recreate.
And sweet position.
And soft collision.

Our heart’s about to palpitate
And I find it hard to separate.
And all I want is for you to be happy
And take this woman and make you my family
And finally you have found someone perfect

And finally you have found

All I want is for you to be happy
And take this woman and make you my family
And finally you have found someone perfect
And finally you have found…
Yourself.

Jun. 30th, 2006

three months!

today i promised myself i'd start my LSAT prep... three months.  I made a new journal (dorky, I know) so I can keep track of my preparation, so if you want to add me as a friend and read all about my boring soon-to-be-library life, please do.  it's law_chronicles
p.s. it won't be as boring as i make it seem. not quite as boring, anyway :)

in other news, happy canada day weekend!

Jun. 7th, 2006

(no subject)

just a little song... kinda describes everything to a t.  

Pilate - Alright

Tonight I lack the strength to even move,
When you walked, now watch me die

But I know this is harder for you,
For love has let you down

The road ahead is lined with broken dreams,
So walk, walk on by

And I failed to give you everything you need,
For the fears, behind your eyes

When I can’t feel you,
I’m not alright, I’m not alright,
When I can’t heal you,
I’m not alright, I’m not alright

When I can’t feel you,
I’m not alright, I’m not alright,
When I can’t heal you,
I’m not alright, I’m not alright

Jesus as you throw me on the rocks,
For love I left your side

For I believed in love and beauty’s wiles,
Where heaven shone from your eyes

Chain me to your tree, I wanted you to see
I wanted you to see, I wanted to believe
Chain me to your tree, I wanted you to see
I wanted you to see

So tell me that it wasn’t all for naught,
It’s such a waste now, it’s such a waste now c’mon
Cause I know you’re scared but baby don’t you hide,
It’s such a waste,
You’ll stand alone now, you’ll make it somehow

Apr. 15th, 2006

"god, why'd they have to crucify jesus TODAY?!"

9 days until tha dee arrrrrr!

i'm supposed to be studying for philosophy, but i got distracted by an early-morning dance/cd making party... i studied all day yesterday and i'm now rebelling against it today!

today: exam @ 2
sunday: write FINAL FINAL FINAL paper :D
monday: study for LAST EXAM
tuesday: exam @ 2

and then i'm finally done... and back ta work.

in other news, i've never been so broke in my life.

and i need a... hamster babysitter? i booked a trip and FORGOT i had a hamster!? how responsible is that? i'm a horrible mother :/ anyway, he's cute and he doesn't bite and he just likes a treat everyday... takers? 

happy easter everyone!... hope the easter bunny is good to you all !  chocolate donations for those of us who will be home alone studying all weekend would be appreciated :P 

my daddy's comin' up to take me out for lunch, though... so that's a little bit of alright. 



good times on thursday... congrats kel and danielle :)





.........fuckin' spice girls complete my life.

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